This Mental Health Awareness Month conversation brings together parent and DBSA donor Todd Optican and DBSA Scientific Advisory Board Member, Dr. Roger McIntyre, a leading psychiatrist and bipolar disorder expert.
Together, they share personal and clinical perspectives on supporting a loved one with a mood disorder and underscore the vital role of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) in helping families navigate this journey.
Where the Conversation Began
Todd:
I’ll start with how I came to DBSA. I asked Dr. McIntyre where I could make a donation on his behalf for all the help he’s given our family and our son, and he suggested DBSA. I hadn’t heard of it—and honestly hadn’t really heard of many support organizations for depression or bipolar. I looked it up and was blown away by the work you do. That was really my introduction, and from there I wanted to get involved.
Dr. McIntyre:
I remember that conversation well. For me, psychiatry isn’t just a job—it’s a calling. The purpose is to help people, advocate for them, and improve their lives. Introducing DBSA to Todd felt like a very natural next step. Advocacy and support are not separate from care—they’re part of it. In many ways, that connection was organic, and as they say, the rest is history.
Supporting Someone You Love
Todd:
When you have a child who’s struggling, you spend every waking hour trying to help. Our son Oliver had his first psychotic break in 2015. At the time, we didn’t know what it was—we thought it might be drug-related. He was sent to rehab, which didn’t work, and then to a psychiatric hospital where he was quickly diagnosed with schizophrenia. Another doctor later disagreed, so we brought him home and began seeing different specialists.
We went through a lot of trial and error with medications. It helped stabilize what we now understand as a mood disorder, but every year he would get sick again, even while doing everything right. When he was unwell, I would stay with him 24/7.
While searching for answers, I came across an article by Dr. McIntyre. It felt like he truly understood what we were experiencing. We eventually connected—despite the logistics—and he was incredibly generous with his time. That connection became a turning point for us.
Dr. McIntyre:
I’ve had the privilege of working with many individuals and families living with depression and bipolar disorder. Psychiatry is not just measurement—it’s also understanding the human experience. I often describe it as “half mathematics, half Shakespeare.”
One thing that became clear to me is that there are major gaps in care, especially around education and support. Being diagnosed with a psychiatric condition carries stigma and confusion in a way that many other illnesses do not. People need more than medication—they need understanding, connection, and guidance.
That’s what led me to organizations like DBSA. Advocacy and peer support are not extras—they are essential parts of the care pathway. People don’t just need answers; they need a map. DBSA helps provide that map.
Day to Day Caregiving Experience
Todd:
We think of our son as being in either a “healthy” or “not healthy” state. When he’s well, we stay closely connected without making it feel like we’re monitoring him. He’s now 32, and while he manages much of his own life, we still check in frequently—through conversations, texts, or even just spending time together, like swimming a few mornings a week. It gives us a sense of how he’s doing.
The key is catching changes early. When he’s in an episode, it becomes all hands on deck. We monitor him constantly for safety. It’s like urgent care—we rotate, support each other, and stay present.
We’re fortunate to have strong family support, but I know many people don’t. That’s why organizations like DBSA are so important. It truly takes a village.
Dr. McIntyre:
Caregiving is complex, and it reflects a broader truth: mental health care is not just about one provider. It’s a team effort—psychiatrists, primary care providers, therapists, social workers, and families.
One gap I see is that many clinicians are not as familiar with advocacy resources as they should be. Yet research shows that peer support, education, and shared lived experience improve outcomes. These aren’t optional—they’re integral.
We’re also entering a new era with AI and digital tools. There’s enormous opportunity, but also risk—especially when misinformation spreads easily. That makes trusted, evidence-based organizations like DBSA even more critical. They provide accurate information and grounded, human support in a very noisy information landscape.
What Families Need to Know Early On
Dr. McIntyre:
For many families, this is unfamiliar territory. A new diagnosis often comes with a sense of helplessness and lack of direction. Education and support are essential to restoring that sense of control.
We don’t need more information—we need accurate information. There is a great deal of misinformation, and it can be harmful. Organizations like DBSA help people understand what these conditions are—and what they are not—while also offering practical strategies and connection.
It’s also important to understand that mood disorders don’t always look the way people expect. Depression isn’t just sadness—it can be loss of function, low motivation, or negative thinking. Bipolar disorder often presents as irritability or agitation rather than what people see portrayed in media. These nuances are why education matters.
Finally, care should be collaborative. Patients should have a trusted healthcare provider and access to reliable resources. Everyone’s path is different, but having both clinical care and community support creates a much stronger foundation.
Todd:
Looking back, we didn’t know what we were seeing at the beginning. When our son first showed symptoms, we thought it was something temporary—maybe substance-related. It took time, including periods of uncertainty and waiting, before we received a diagnosis.
Even then, treatment involved a lot of trial and error. It took nearly 10 years to feel like we really understood what works for him. What I’ve learned is that this process takes time, and it’s different for everyone.
One thing I’ve become very cautious about is misinformation. When I hear about a new “breakthrough,” I want to know where it came from—who published it, what research supports it. There’s a lot of noise out there, especially with social media and AI, and it can be misleading.
That’s why it’s so important to rely on trusted sources and real expertise. When Dr. McIntyre speaks, people listen because it’s grounded in knowledge and experience. That kind of direct, credible information is invaluable.
Parting Thoughts
Todd:
I feel fortunate for the resources we have—family, financial stability, and access to care—but I know most people don’t. And without support, it’s incredibly difficult.
That’s why DBSA matters so much. People need to know you exist. When someone is discharged from a hospital or facing this for the first time, they need a place to turn—a next step. DBSA can be that place.
The biggest takeaway for me is simple: this journey requires support. Without it, families often don’t stand a chance. With it, there’s hope.
