Story Category: DBSA Ambassador

DBSA Board Member

As I reflect on my life, I feel extremely lucky. I have a loving family, loyal friends, and a successful law practice. I was honored to serve for eight years as the Mayor of Deerfield, Illinois, a suburban community of 18,000 residents. All of these blessings remind me that my path hasn’t always been an easy one.

Thirty years ago, as a young husband to Jani and new dad to our three sons, Ross, Marc, and Alec, I was stopped in my tracks. Suddenly, I wasn’t the fun and energetic dad I used to be. I lost interest in get-togethers with neighbors, friends, and colleagues. Concentrating at work and home became difficult, and I became distant from my loved ones. I was sidelined from my own life.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder, a treatable mental health condition marked by extreme changes in mood, thought, energy, and behavior. I don’t recall experiencing the “high” or mania of the disorder, just the “low,” and it was at times, very low. Thankfully, I was diagnosed early.

Mood disorders run in my family. Recognizing this, I was quick to seek help. Perhaps even more fortunate is that my first clinical experience was positive. After three decades, I continue to work with the same physician, Dr. Bill Gilmer. My treatment, a combination of medication and psychotherapy, works for me. I’m also physically active–swimming, jogging, and weightlifting–which I’m sure supports my wellness. My diagnosis hasn’t limited me professionally or personally. In fact, the treatment I receive has given me profound insight into my relationships.

Until now, I have been reluctant to share my experience with family, friends, and clients for fear of the stigma associated with mental health conditions. I know this diagnosis is not a character flaw or a sign of personal weakness, but do others?

Through my involvement with the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, I feel I’m in a safe environment to now share my journey. Disclosing that I live with Bipolar allows me to share my experiences with others and to encourage people living in silence to seek help, because it’s there and it helps.

I have been fortunate. I haven’t experienced any form of discrimination as a result of my condition; perhaps because I found my balance early on. Sadly, I know others are not so lucky. My future plans include focusing my attention to combating discrimination against mental illness and paying forward the help that has been offered to me. I hope you decide to support me in this choice by supporting DBSA.

DBSA Board Member

I am a physician and, as well, a psychiatric patient. I am living with bipolar disorder.

For many years, I traveled the bumpy road of refusing to accept my diagnosis and I avoided psychiatric care for far too long. Internalized shame and the stigma of being a psychiatrist with a mental health condition caused me to nail my bipolar closet door firmly shut. We expect physicians to be uber-competent and stoic so I was concerned about collegial disapproval and the loss of my medical license should my diagnosis become known. Despite these worries, I decided a few years back to step forward and publicly acknowledge that I have a mood disorder. Since then, I have shared my diagnosis with friends, family, and colleagues and have presented my truth at national and international conferences.

I never expected it but I have received more hugs and support from those who now know my story than I ever thought would come my way. I have come to realize that although I had been afraid of professional and personal repercussions, it turned out that those fears, in my case, were unwarranted. My biggest hurdle turned out to be the guy staring back at me in a mirror colored with shame and self-condemnation. I have come to see that there are few things more powerful and freeing than authenticity. We change our culture, currently imbued with stigma and judgment, one conversation at a time. I have learned that we need to respect and applaud those struggling with mental health challenges. We can hope that they will find their voice in a time and a way that is safe and best for them. It is wonderful that many share their stories quietly and in confidence with their doctor or loved ones in their lives. Others, like me, may find it helpful and liberating to speak their truth to a larger audience. But, it is unfair to place the burden of shifting the current status quo of silence and blame onto the shoulders of those who have been unwell. Friends, family, and colleagues have an obligation to play their part in making the journey toward wellness an easier and safer one.

By coming out of my shadows previously filled with secrecy, I have stepped into the light of a healthier day. Replacing the corrosive inner narrative that had been swirling in my head with an affirming one of self-respect and affirmation has freed me in a way I couldn’t imagine. I still have my moments when I have to take a deep breath and a leap of faith to say to others that I am living with bipolar disorder, but it has become much easier over time. While medications have been life-saving for me, I no longer underestimate the power of walking through previously closed doors of shame and self-loathing. My journey has been years in the making but I have arrived at a place of true peace and self-acceptance. Because of this, I am a success story: a caregiver and, at last, a care receiver living well with bipolar disorder.

DBSA Ambassador

$177 raised of $2,000 goal. $1,823 to go!

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Donors

Daniel

Michelle Wenitsky

Claire Brairton

Jason Gilbert

Marcelle O'Brien

My name is Francesca Thorn. I am currently a marketing major at Temple University in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

I chose to become an ambassador for DBSA because advocating for mental health means a great deal to me. My own battle with depression over the years inspired me to use my voice to advocate for teens and young adults that may not have the resources to educate themselves on the struggles they are facing. I want to the stigma around mental illness to die so that more people don’t have to.

Please ask how to you can help me!

I plan on using holding different fundraising events around Temple’s campus to reach my goal amount of $2,000 for DBSA.

Please donate what you can

About DBSA:
The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance is the leading peer-directed national organization focusing on the two most prevalent mental health conditions, depression and bipolar disorder, which affect more than 21 million Americans, account for 90% of the nation’s suicides every year, and cost $23 billion in lost workdays and other workplace losses.

DBSA’s peer-based, wellness-oriented, and empowering services and resources are available when people need them, where they need them, and how they need to receive them—online 24/7, in local support groups, in audio and video casts, or in printed materials distributed by DBSA, our chapters, and mental health care facilities across America.

Marathon Fundraiser – Chasing Dreams for DBSA

Donors

Brian and Autumn Harrier - $25.00

Zach and Kelly Leister - $35.00

Garrett Wietholter - $35.00

Stephanie Shepler - $20.00

Rita Richards - $35.00

Joe Howell - $50.00

Interstate Warehousing - Indianapolis - $156.00

Jay Klika - $85.00

Mark Kurzendoerfer - $35.00

Natalie Dickey - $20.00

Joseph Del Greco - $100.00

Larry & Traci Tippmann - $45.00

Mr. Sean Slain - $35.00

Grant and Jessica Chapman - $50.00

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Becoming a Runner

I met my passion, my best friend, my worst enemy, my (free) therapist, and my strongest medication about five years ago. I was 22, and just graduated from college with an excellent education, great GPA, a member of the golf team and I was even a newlywed. To top it all off I lost about 50 pounds my last two years of college and I couldn’t have looked any better. I thought I was in the best shape of my life. I thought I had it all together, but little did I know I had a marathon of a challenge ahead. Everything seemed to be going okay, but I was having headaches so bad I couldn’t sleep. I spent a lot of time in bed because of the headaches. I saw my family doctor for it, and that is where it all started. She told me I had depression and gave me some medicine for it. I did some research and found out that exercise was one of the best prevention methods for depression, and I knew I needed to get out of bed and on with my life. I started running with my husband every night after work. Even though that I started running I never considered myself a “runner”. I didn’t think that I fit into that crowd. I was just a woman who ran every day. Soon I found myself waking up the day of the my first half marathon. I was nervous because I never ran that distance before, but I knew I could do it. I ran that day as hard as I could and finished in 1:49 which was well under my goal of 2 hours. I was ecstatic and found myself running again just a few days later. As the days went by, I found that my medicine wore out quickly because my body was used to it. I went back to the doctor and she gave me a different type of medicine and I took that for a short period of time. I repeated this process for about 2 years until my doctor told me that she couldn’t help me anymore. By that time, I was training for a full marathon, but the depression was consuming me. My family doctor finally referred me to new doctors.

Before I saw the new doctors, I ran the Chicago Marathon. I was a little depressed, but knew I had to do it because I trained so hard. The marathon was really difficult compared to the half marathon, but I finished it in 3:56. That was four minutes better than my goal. I was happy that I did it. When I returned home from the Chicago Marathon I started to see my psychologist. She was a perfect fit for me. She was gentle, easy to talk to, and open minded. I unraveled the secrets of my depression with her. I found out many things about myself. I found out that my childhood wasn’t as happy as other children. Regardless of how I felt, I kept running. I was training for my next half marathon. I put in so many miles, I couldn’t even count them. The next thing I knew, my husband and I traveled across the country to run the Big Sur Half Marathon in California. I was relaxed and amazingly confident in my abilities, but I only set the bar at 1:45. That day I ran a 1:41, and after the race a woman behind me came up to congratulate me. That very second, I went from a woman that ran everyday to a “runner”.

I have been training and running smaller races now for 5 months. I’m getting ready to run the full marathon at the P.F. Chang’s Rock ‘n Roll Marathon in Arizona on January 17, 2010. I also am running the 2010 Illinois Half Marathon on May 1st.

Learn about our upcoming programs, services, and ways you can become involved.