How do you explain inexplicable sadness? Confusion? A loss of self? Few life experiences prepare you for the inner turmoil that mental health issues create. The more I tried to think my way out of sadness, out of that flat, hollow feeling, the deeper I sank. For a long time, I convinced myself that my feelings of inadequacy were simply a puzzle I could solve alone. So I chose constant journaling, overthinking, and mounting stress. The step I wish I had taken earlier was simple: saying out loud that I wasn’t okay, and that I needed help.
Men are not always taught to ask for help. We are taught to push through, to compartmentalize, to pretend like feelings are optional. From the outside it’s easy to misinterpret this as strength. But silence is not strength. It is fleeing the realities of life, convincing yourself that carrying pain alone is the best option.
One analogy shaped my mental health journey: the domino effect, one falling piece triggering a powerful chain reaction downstream. Knocking down that first conversational domino opened my world to people who could help me face an illness I didn’t yet have a name for. I remember the exact moment, standing on a street corner in New York City, taxis honking, people hustling past, the smell of a Halal cart filling the air. I called my Mom. Sometimes saying out loud that you need help, that you feel completely lost, is the only domino that matters. Accepting that my life had gone off the rails let me build a team, and that team helped me fight back.
Not everyone starts with a clear support network. Some people face this completely alone, too frightened to speak. That’s okay, and that’s exactly why DBSA exists. I didn’t reach out to DBSA when I first started recognizing something was wrong because I had not yet heard about the organization. I believed I was smart enough to think my way through it. I wasn’t. Staying quiet, hiding your emotions, keeping the pain locked inside blocks your path to recovery. Connecting with a DBSA group, or anyone willing to listen and show up for you, tips that first domino. I wouldn’t be writing any of this if I hadn’t found the courage to reach out. I would still be hurting in isolation.
Admitting something is wrong takes real courage. For some, it feels like defeat. But that admission, that one honest moment, is the most powerful domino you will ever knock down.
Aidan is DBSA’s current Associate Board President. Learn more about the volunteer board and how to get involved at https://www.dbsalliance.org/about/dbsa-associate-board/
