I’m Living Proof: I Am Not Resilient

Hi my love,

I know, I know: who says that? Well, we do. We love ourselves now. We love everything about ourselves now. We love our big thighs, our brown skin and our “nappy hair.”

Hard to imagine, right? I want you to know that we’re definitely going to get here one day and it won’t be because anyone came and saved us. I know we were waiting on that, but they never came. No one ever tells her she’s a bad mom and daddy never realizes like we thought he would.

My love, we save ourselves.

I know that sounds like something we’ll never be able to do. But we do it! We realize all the lies over time, and we decide not to listen to them anymore. We find people who don’t lie to us and love us for just existing. We no longer need to do more than others and we strive to create a safe world that our son can grow in. Yes, we have a son!

Katrina, we are nothing like her.

I need you to understand that regardless of what has happened,  “you are worthy of love that doesn’t hurt you.” You will give love without the pain that you were taught, and you’ll finally be free. I love you so much!

We will see the world—and when we stop running—we’ll finally find peace. We won’t find it in anyone, anything, or any place: we’ll find it within us.

I love you and I am so proud of you! You deserve to get here and I cannot wait until you do!




Katrina Strohl is the creator and host of the Absolutely Not podcast, a series dedicated to providing examples of setting personal boundaries at work and the vocabulary needed to name harm. The show’s aim is to encourage all professionals to say “Absolutely Not!” to abuse, mistreatment, and unsafe work environments. You can find out more about Katrina’s work here. And you can check out her podcast Absolutely Not on Anchor, SpotifyApple Podcasts, and YouTube.