Share Your Video Story (Facing Us Submission Center)

Date	User Response
01/03/2008	This is in Essay form: "Recovered Wreckage" My Bipolar disorder has been the dictator and ruler of my entire life up until about three years ago. As a child, it destroyed my self-esteem, isolated me, confused me and eventually, consumed me. As a teenager, the black cloud seemed to get thicker; however, the common misconception was "she's a teenager. Classic Moodiness. This too shall pass." I knew something was wrong, off, not quite right, a little weird....but I couldn't identify the root cause. I knew I didn't want to be this way. I didn't want the negative, dismal thoughts. I didn't want the destructive behavior. But it seemed as if I was pre-programmed for self destruction and there wasn't a thing I could do to stop it. It was easier to fall into the role of the "Difficult Child" than scream for help in my constant state of confusion and pain. I had my first full blown episode at the age of 19, which resulted in a pregnancy and an unwanted, abusive marriage. After the birth of my child, the Bipolar was agitated even further by a severe bout of post-partum depression. It was then that I began a spiral downward that destroyed the majority of my adult life, not to mention the lives of those who came in contact with me. I was diagnosed with "Manic-Depression" around the age of 23 after a 10 second question session by a doctor I had never seen before. He wrote a script for Prozac. I took it for about a week, but stopped because I had a headache from it. It became a viscous cycle. Manic episode, suicide attempt, collapse, Doctor visit. I was put on Zoloft, Paxil, Seraphim, Celexa, Depakote, Geodone, Lithium, Valium, Xanax, Flexeral and Vicodin over a period of about 6 years. I barged through life with no concern whatsoever for my destructive choices and their effect on my family and loved ones. I ended up losing four children and two marriages due to my reckless and self-abusive Bipolar behavior. I was hospitalized twice. Because there were no support groups or educational avenues regarding my "condition", I ceased taking meds altogether. I became estranged from my family, I abandoned every adult responsibility to my name, I wrecked my car, I tried to kill myself, I blew all of my money and moved halfway across the nation on a whim with nothing but a duffel bag and .62 cents in my pocket. Three years ago I had the worst episode of my life. I walked out on my career, my husband, became a Meth addict, and eventually became homeless and penniless. After waking up four days after a failed suicide attempt, I realized I was here for a reason. I realized that noone was going to help me but ME. So I crawled home with my tail between my legs...and there was my husband. Who never stopped for a minute believing in me, supporting me, loving me. We began a healing and recovery process that has resulted in me getting my life back....and I took it back with a vengeance. I claimed full responsibility for damage I had caused and the pain I had inflicted for so many years. I mended relationships, built burnt bridges and regained my confidence. I have made a remarkable recovery. I am also aware that I'm the exception to the rule. Because I feel I've been blessed with a second chance at life, I have made it my life's calling to Mental Health Awareness and Education. I buckled down and started learning everything there was to know about Bipolar. Someone very wise once told me: "In order to defeat the dragon...you must first learn his behavior." And that is the approach I took to my Bipolar. As cliché as it sounds, knowledge IS power. We can't just sit idly by, criticizing those with a mental illness, expecting them to just "snap out of it". I feel that with power comes a great sense of duty and obligation. I feel like I have power over this disease. And because of this, I feel that I could help others just like me. To let them know that they are NOT alone. To help empower them with education and support. To expose my life and soul as an example for success. If I chose to do nothing with my recovery....then everything would have been in vain. I am no longer ashamed to say, "I have Bipolar." I am no longer ashamed to say, "I've made irreversible mistakes." I am no longer ashamed of ME. It's people like me...the artists, the writers, the outcasts of society, the misfit children hiding behind the tag of "Difficult"...that make this world such a colorful and fascinating place to be. Just try not to over-look us. Try not to stereo-type and cast judgment. After all, some of the most brilliant minds of our time were minds just like mine. The Bipolar mind. A mind I'm proud to say is MINE. "I shall seize Fate by the throat; it shall certainly not bend and crush me completely." -- Ludwig van Beethoven: Composer, Genius, Bipolar
04/25/2008	http://change.net/self/depressiondan.htm
01/07/2010	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4TyzIDsCTc
07/30/2008	DR STONE MY HUSBAND WAS YOUR PATUENT AND HE THOUGHT YOU WERE THE BEST HIS NAME WAS LARRY RANDALL AND HE SAW YOU IN IPSWICH YOU WON OVER 6 DR'S HE HAD SEEN I TRULY NEED YOUR HELP PTR
07/11/2010	My fellow bipolars and mental health advocates: please support my You Tube video book promo! Watch the link below and click that you like it! Check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHYPW7Bs7-Y
07/10/2009	This is not a VIDEO, it is a written story: When our son, Frankie was arrested for committing an armed robbery at a local video store at the time they were opening for business that morning at 11:00am (located in a busy shopping center), not only were we shocked, his parents & his immediate family; but close friends and relatives in other states were stunned at the news. My son is 40 yrs. old, a wonderful husband and wonderful father of four beautiful girls that absolutely adore him, a great provider for his family. We could not believe this horrible news. He was arrested and taken to the local jail in that county. The police had him sign a confession when they booked him, we were told that he was very cooperative and cordial. The arresting police officer informed me that due to the fact that he had been so cooperative, he would do everything possible to help him. Frankie later told his wife that he did not realize what a serious crime he had committed, he was like a small child, he trusted the police when they asked him to write in his own words everything that had happened at the video store without realizing he was signing a confession. In his mind, he thought if he did everything they told him to do, they would let him go home, not realizing that they were going to put him in jail. He was on a 24 hr. suicidal watch at the jail as he realized what he had done, he was mortified to think that he did what he did. He couldn't explain what he did nor why he did it. His bond was set at $75,000. After two weeks in jail, the family was able to gather the $7,500 to post bail to get him released. Once released, it took us a while, but we were able to get him into the local hospital, Psychiatric Ward, for a mental evaluation, to try to discover what went through his mind to trigger this type of behavior, something so out of character for him. During several days of testing & evaluations, the head psychiatrist diagnosed Frankie with bipolar and other mental illnesses, which he said triggered this episode at the video store. He said my son's brain literally shut down, what he was actually doing was imitating an armed robbery from the movie Fun with Dick & Jane (with Jim Carey). In my son's mind, he related to their financial problems in the movie, the husband had lost his job, the wife had lost her job, their home was in foreclosure, they literally were losing everything they had worked so hard for. Frankie literally took over their financial problems and felt he needed to get money (just like in the movie) so he wouldn't lose his home. In addition to that, our attorney recommended that Frankie see a Forensic Psychiatrist to get their opinion of his mental state, in order to provide the court with documentation of his mental issues. He was evaluated by a Forensic Psychiatrist in Durham, which in fact also agreed with the other Psychiatrist from the local hospital. After several weeks of testing, the doctor in Durham stated that 90% of all cases that declare insanity or some other type of mental illness are not really insane, but that Frankie was in the 10% that definitely had mental problems, and she knows for a fact that Frankie's mind shut down and was not aware of what he was doing, sort of like an out-of-body experience, he was there, but that was not him committing that crime in the video store that day. The head psychiatrist at our local hospital continued to change my son's medication for several months until he found the right combination of medicine that would help his condition. Meanwhile, one day while dropping his wife off at work (she is a nurse) Frankie's brain shut down (blacked out) ran a red light & was involved in an accident. He didn't even know where he was at to tell anyone. The tow truck driver lent him his cell phone as Frankie forgot his at home, he called his wife (which he had just dropped off five minutes before). He could not tell her where he was at, his brain was just not working, like a child lost in a supermarket. We were frantic trying to find out where he was, where he was headed when the accident actually occurred, not knowing if he was hurt, if anyone else was hurt. We finally received another call from him from a Walgreen's store close to where the accident occurred. I work for a law firm 5 or 10 minutes away, and was able to get to him before he wandered off. I called my husband who was looking for him on the main roads, to let him know that he was at the local Walgreen's, my husband met me there. Frankie was like a child, it looked like he was going to cry, upset at what had just happened and scared, holding a few items in his hands that belonged to his daughters and his wallet. They had towed his car and the police officer gave him a citation. His father called and spoke to his wife, his doctor had asked that he bring him straight to the hospital to examine him and to do additional tests to find out why he blacked out. He was in the hospital again for about another week. The doctor changed his medications again and also added that he may have had some type of epileptic seizure that may have caused the blackout. After leaving the hospital that week, my son told his dad that he was so upset and so depressed at what had happened that he was looking for an opportunity to get to the roof of the hospital so he could jump and end it all. As you can see, Frankie has been through a lot and it's still not over with. He is doing much better now that the medication the doctor prescribed is helping him lead more of a normal life. All his doctors have stated that he cannot go back to work due to his state of mind & all the medications he is taking on a daily basis. Both the head psychiatrist from the hospital & the Forensic Psychiatrist have offered to go to court on his behalf & explain his mental illnesses, but the DA from that county will not accept his mental illness as an excuse for committing this crime. I've been told that in NC, armed robbery is on top of the list of the worst crimes to commit, "you do the crime, you do the time". It doesn't matter to them if the defendant has a mental condition, they should still go to prison for this crime. Several local attorneys have informed me that this particular county has no compassion for anyone, they believe in putting people in jail for however many years the NC crime chart says regardless of the reason behind the crime. The DA has presented a plead bargain which Frankie has to either accept or go to trial. All the attorneys we have spoken with have recommended taking the plead bargain of 40 months in jail rather than go to trial, which in their opinion he will be found guilty by the jury from that county and would be given the maximum sentence of anywhere between seven to twelve years. The DA wants to sentence my son to a high security prison far away from our home, where they have murderers, rapists, the worst of the worst criminals you can imagine. My son is not a criminal and deserves an opportunity to present his bipolar and other mental illnesses to the Judge, but this DA is not allowing it to happen. Not only will they be punishing my son for a crime he committed while going through bipolar and manic depressive episodes, they will be punishing his wife, his beautiful girls, us his parents, his in-laws, his aunts and uncles, whoever is familiar with his character and knows that he is not capable of committing such a crime and would never hurt anyone while in his right mind. Does my son have to take his own life to prove to the State of North Carolina that he does have bipolar, that he was in a manic-depressive state at the time he committed this crime, and that NO he was not aware of the grave crime he was committing nor was he aware of the consequences of committing this CRIME. If anyone can give us any suggestions, advice or recommendations as to what we can do to get justice for my son's condition, we will truly be very grateful. He has to make a decision very soon whether to accept this plead bargain or not. We are just praying a lot and hoping for a miracle. We are hoping that you can help us or know of some other organization that can help my son Frankie. Thanks, Mercy & Frank
07/10/2009	This is not a VIDEO, it is a written story: When our son, Frankie was arrested for committing an armed robbery at a local video store at the time they were opening for business that morning at 11:00am (located in a busy shopping center), not only were we shocked, his parents & his immediate family; but close friends and relatives in other states were stunned at the news. My son is 40 yrs. old, a wonderful husband and wonderful father of four beautiful girls that absolutely adore him, a great provider for his family. We could not believe this horrible news. He was arrested and taken to the local jail in that county. The police had him sign a confession when they booked him, we were told that he was very cooperative and cordial. The arresting police officer informed me that due to the fact that he had been so cooperative, he would do everything possible to help him. Frankie later told his wife that he did not realize what a serious crime he had committed, he was like a small child, he trusted the police when they asked him to write in his own words everything that had happened at the video store without realizing he was signing a confession. In his mind, he thought if he did everything they told him to do, they would let him go home, not realizing that they were going to put him in jail. He was on a 24 hr. suicidal watch at the jail as he realized what he had done, he was mortified to think that he did what he did. He couldn't explain what he did nor why he did it. His bond was set at $75,000. After two weeks in jail, the family was able to gather the $7,500 to post bail to get him released. Once released, it took us a while, but we were able to get him into the local hospital, Psychiatric Ward, for a mental evaluation, to try to discover what went through his mind to trigger this type of behavior, something so out of character for him. During several days of testing & evaluations, the head psychiatrist diagnosed Frankie with bipolar and other mental illnesses, which he said triggered this episode at the video store. He said my son's brain literally shut down, what he was actually doing was imitating an armed robbery from the movie Fun with Dick & Jane (with Jim Carey). In my son's mind, he related to their financial problems in the movie, the husband had lost his job, the wife had lost her job, their home was in foreclosure, they literally were losing everything they had worked so hard for. Frankie literally took over their financial problems and felt he needed to get money (just like in the movie) so he wouldn't lose his home. In addition to that, our attorney recommended that Frankie see a Forensic Psychiatrist to get their opinion of his mental state, in order to provide the court with documentation of his mental issues. He was evaluated by a Forensic Psychiatrist in Durham, which in fact also agreed with the other Psychiatrist from the local hospital. After several weeks of testing, the doctor in Durham stated that 90% of all cases that declare insanity or some other type of mental illness are not really insane, but that Frankie was in the 10% that definitely had mental problems, and she knows for a fact that Frankie's mind shut down and was not aware of what he was doing, sort of like an out-of-body experience, he was there, but that was not him committing that crime in the video store that day. The head psychiatrist at our local hospital continued to change my son's medication for several months until he found the right combination of medicine that would help his condition. Meanwhile, one day while dropping his wife off at work (she is a nurse) Frankie's brain shut down (blacked out) ran a red light & was involved in an accident. He didn't even know where he was at to tell anyone. The tow truck driver lent him his cell phone as Frankie forgot his at home, he called his wife (which he had just dropped off five minutes before). He could not tell her where he was at, his brain was just not working, like a child lost in a supermarket. We were frantic trying to find out where he was, where he was headed when the accident actually occurred, not knowing if he was hurt, if anyone else was hurt. We finally received another call from him from a Walgreen's store close to where the accident occurred. I work for a law firm 5 or 10 minutes away, and was able to get to him before he wandered off. I called my husband who was looking for him on the main roads, to let him know that he was at the local Walgreen's, my husband met me there. Frankie was like a child, it looked like he was going to cry, upset at what had just happened and scared, holding a few items in his hands that belonged to his daughters and his wallet. They had towed his car and the police officer gave him a citation. His father called and spoke to his wife, his doctor had asked that he bring him straight to the hospital to examine him and to do additional tests to find out why he blacked out. He was in the hospital again for about another week. The doctor changed his medications again and also added that he may have had some type of epileptic seizure that may have caused the blackout. After leaving the hospital that week, my son told his dad that he was so upset and so depressed at what had happened that he was looking for an opportunity to get to the roof of the hospital so he could jump and end it all. As you can see, Frankie has been through a lot and it's still not over with. He is doing much better now that the medication the doctor prescribed is helping him lead more of a normal life. All his doctors have stated that he cannot go back to work due to his state of mind & all the medications he is taking on a daily basis. Both the head psychiatrist from the hospital & the Forensic Psychiatrist have offered to go to court on his behalf & explain his mental illnesses, but the DA from that county will not accept his mental illness as an excuse for committing this crime. I've been told that in NC, armed robbery is on top of the list of the worst crimes to commit, "you do the crime, you do the time". It doesn't matter to them if the defendant has a mental condition, they should still go to prison for this crime. Several local attorneys have informed me that this particular county has no compassion for anyone, they believe in putting people in jail for however many years the NC crime chart says regardless of the reason behind the crime. The DA has presented a plead bargain which Frankie has to either accept or go to trial. All the attorneys we have spoken with have recommended taking the plead bargain of 40 months in jail rather than go to trial, which in their opinion he will be found guilty by the jury from that county and would be given the maximum sentence of anywhere between seven to twelve years. The DA wants to sentence my son to a high security prison far away from our home, where they have murderers, rapists, the worst of the worst criminals you can imagine. My son is not a criminal and deserves an opportunity to present his bipolar and other mental illnesses to the Judge, but this DA is not allowing it to happen. Not only will they be punishing my son for a crime he committed while going through bipolar and manic depressive episodes, they will be punishing his wife, his beautiful girls, us his parents, his in-laws, his aunts and uncles, whoever is familiar with his character and knows that he is not capable of committing such a crime and would never hurt anyone while in his right mind. Does my son have to take his own life to prove to the State of North Carolina that he does have bipolar, that he was in a manic-depressive state at the time he committed this crime, and that NO he was not aware of the grave crime he was committing nor was he aware of the consequences of committing this CRIME. If anyone can give us any suggestions, advice or recommendations as to what we can do to get justice for my son's condition, we will truly be very grateful. He has to make a decision very soon whether to accept this plead bargain or not. We are just praying a lot and hoping for a miracle. We are hoping that you can help us or know of some other organization that can help my son Frankie. Thanks, Mercy & Frank
07/31/2009	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3LF_J5yu8Y
04/08/2010	The video is processing on YOUTUBE right now but should be available soon: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pqqDi8gq2Q
11/04/2009	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzWbLEm1zo8
11/04/2009	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzWbLEm1zo8
11/04/2009	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzWbLEm1zo8
01/23/2011	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48xkDbB_oJc
05/05/2010	http://www.megaupload.com/?d=RQKJ8ULQ
06/29/2010	www.youtube.com In the searchbox type in bipolardisorder-invisible demons
07/30/2010	http://vimeo.com/13748919
10/20/2010	http://onetosix.wordpress.com/2010/01/28/tribute-video-to-michael/
11/03/2010	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSbqXz8Dmf0 www.youtube.com/luckyrayfitzgerald www.LuckyFitzgerald.com
12/01/2010	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23a18HKYLW4&feature=recentlik
06/07/2011	http://youtu.be/WeK2FvcKNnI
08/22/2011	http://www.megaupload.com/?d=NBWMPAQ4
12/16/2011	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3EOl8RDAzU
08/19/2012	https://rapidshare.com/files/647751454/project_0001.wmv