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Succeeding in College Succeeding in College with Bipolar Disorder I is difficult but with the right support system, medications, and daily routine it can be done. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder I when I was 19, after my freshman year of college. My freshman year had been one of constant crisis while I fluctuated between intense highs causing me to do painful things for which I don't remember and lows where I would cut myself with razor blades listening to dark music. I attempted suicide the summer after my freshman year thinking the whole world was out to get me and hearing voices that told me I was no good anymore, was quickly hospitalized, subsequently cycling into a severe mania while in the hospital. Diagnosed and stabilized with a mood stabilizer, I did not like the side effects at first. When I arrived back on campus that fall, I attended my first DBSA support group but found it populated by folks much older than I who had experienced much severe consequences to their illness. I longed to feel I was not alone, that there were other young people out there who had a mental illness. I found some support through internet chat rooms. Alone and desperate, I threw myself into writing for the campus paper, interning for a state senator's political campaign, and schoolwork. But when the semester was through, my grades dropped, I felt depressed, I started hearing voices, and tried to end my life again. I was re-hospitalized. I worked in the hospital for developing a plan for going back to school which included total wellness. Going to a halfway house afterward was unacceptable as I was always a high achiever and wanted to prove myself in the academic environment. Back on campus, I regularly saw a therapist each week, went to appointments for medication checks, went to DBSA, continued to be active in activities, exercised, got enough sleep or tried to be regular, cut back on the number of classes I took, and tried to eat healthy. This enabled me to graduate magna cum laude and be inducted into the honor society with a degree in Journalism/English. Several years later, I applied to graduate school, something I thought was impossible, was accepted and received an MA in creative writing. Almost eleven years later, I am now working on my second master's degree. Seeing the right therapist, using dialectical behavioral therapy techniques, being on the right dosage and combination of medications, DBSA groups--where gradually I met more young people, and exercising regularly all help me to maintain a balance to acheive success in graduate school. It is a struggle, a daily one, but I am living proof that with hard work and compliance with treatment acheiving a degree and an advanced degree with a mental illness can be done. Currently, I am trying to set up college DBSA groups in my city with the coordinator of the local DBSA chapter and am writing a book on how I survived college with bipolar disorder in order to help other young people know they are not alone, take progressive action in fighting their illness, and realize their true potential. |
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